Approaching the Resistant Team Member

Not all team members will appreciate your team building efforts. Some people gravitate toward working as a team and others toward working independently. Here are a few ideas about engaging with a resistant team member.

Consider his/her personality. Some people are just naturally more cautious, private and contemplative. They aren't going to jump into activities right away. Be careful about demanding they participate in all team initiatives with the same enthusiasm your outgoing team members will display.

Use variety. Don't do high energy team building activities or require full participation all the time. Keep some initiatives low-key.

Talk one-on-one. When you can, spend some time with this team member in private and ask his or her advice or feedback on a project.

Avoid praising publicly. Some quieter team members hate to be publicly praised. Find what works for them.

Don't put him on the spot. You might think it is best to ask them, "Drew, what do you think of this?" but this may backfire on you. Again, talk privately, as in, "Drew, I think you may have a good idea about what we talked about at the meeting earlier. What do you think?"

Establish some expectations. While you don't want to alienate these folks, don't let them control your efforts either. From time to time, there will be required events for the entire team and as a leader, you may have to be firm about it.

Be considerate of personal time. Some employees are resistant to activities that cut into "their" time even if most perceive it will be fun. For example, I know of people who didn't care to do an overnight retreat even though it was at a great place and was offered free.  Since you don't know the personal life of all your employees, avoid making "off time" events required. In turn, you may talk with the employee about an agreement that if you don't require them to attend off hours functions, you would like to see their full participation in activities/initiatives that do fall within their normal work time.

Watch work load. Some team building activities/meetings are seen as an interruption to an already heavy work load. Don't add more stress by ill-timed meetings. There are other ways to show appreciation and build team work during especially heavy seasons.

In the end, as the leader, you will have to determine if this employee's resistance is something you can work with or not. Being a team player is important, but having some grace with your employees is, too.

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Integrity in Appreciation

I was listening to a leadership podcast recently. The speaker was sharing ways to show appreciation to your team. Most of the ideas were spot on, but I was concerned about one of them.

This business owner greets his employee's birthdays with a Happy Birthday email. Nice idea, right? Well, he went on to share how the process was automated so that employees automatically get an email from him on their birthday. His assistant reminds him of whose birthday it is so in case they thank him in the hall, he will know what they are talking about.

Ouch.

That struck me as rather impersonal and borderline dishonest. Now, before you challenge me about automated systems, yes, I think there is a place for them. I, for example, do utilize pre-written text for various communications and greetings. And I like how Facebook, for example, has made it easier to put a birthday greeting on several contact walls fairly quickly. I just pause, though, at the thought of greetings going out automatically to team members without my personal awareness that day, particularly if the idea is to sincerely wish them a happy birthday and thank them for service to the company.

So my tip to you today is simple. When designing appreciation strategies, be sure to remember that your team members are real people with real feelings. If I was employed by this company and heard the CEO publicly explain this birthday system, I'm not sure I'd feel all that warmly greeted on my birthday going forward when I got his "personal" email to me.

What do you think? Am I being too sensitive?

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Is Your Timing Off?

"Hi honey. What did the doctor say?"

Innocent question, unless you are asking it at a fast food restaurant, of a man getting ready to serve customers, in front of said customers. Then it is poorly timed and inconsiderate.

This was a true story I observed not long ago. Before you judge this person though, think about the following points regarding your timing when interacting with your team.

Do you allow people to settle in before hitting them with questions? Maybe you don't mind "hitting the ground running" when you get to work, but many people prefer to have time to take off their coats, get their computer booted up, use the restroom, get coffee, insert routine here______ before tackling their tasks. If you've waited this long to get an answer, a few more minutes won't matter.

Do you make comments in front of others who are not involved? In the case mentioned above, none of us at the restaurant (customers or other coworkers) needed to know what Dr. ________ said. My guess is that the woman was worried (I think the coworker was her husband or relative) and as soon as she saw him she wanted to ease her mind. However, she made it awkward for him as he had to turn and say, "I will tell you about it later."  Be careful to have important conversations out of earshot of other employees who aren't part of the problem, solution, or project.

Do you interrupt coworkers who are working on a project? Interruptions occur all day long, and your culture may be accustomed to it. But when you can allow workers extended uninterrupted time to get their work done, you'll help productivity all the way around.

Do you announce information too soon--or worse yet--too late? Workplace communication is a tricky thing. When in doubt, err on the side of giving employees too much info rather than creating a vacuum. Vacuums fill with something...usually rumors.

Consider the ways your approach to conversation, communication, and questions may be just a little off when it comes to timing. Refine your approach, and you will probably see a jump in productivity and effective teamwork.

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