Approaching the Resistant Team Member

Not all team members will appreciate your team building efforts. Some people gravitate toward working as a team and others toward working independently. Here are a few ideas about engaging with a resistant team member.

Consider his/her personality. Some people are just naturally more cautious, private and contemplative. They aren't going to jump into activities right away. Be careful about demanding they participate in all team initiatives with the same enthusiasm your outgoing team members will display.

Use variety. Don't do high energy team building activities or require full participation all the time. Keep some initiatives low-key.

Talk one-on-one. When you can, spend some time with this team member in private and ask his or her advice or feedback on a project.

Avoid praising publicly. Some quieter team members hate to be publicly praised. Find what works for them.

Don't put him on the spot. You might think it is best to ask them, "Drew, what do you think of this?" but this may backfire on you. Again, talk privately, as in, "Drew, I think you may have a good idea about what we talked about at the meeting earlier. What do you think?"

Establish some expectations. While you don't want to alienate these folks, don't let them control your efforts either. From time to time, there will be required events for the entire team and as a leader, you may have to be firm about it.

Be considerate of personal time. Some employees are resistant to activities that cut into "their" time even if most perceive it will be fun. For example, I know of people who didn't care to do an overnight retreat even though it was at a great place and was offered free.  Since you don't know the personal life of all your employees, avoid making "off time" events required. In turn, you may talk with the employee about an agreement that if you don't require them to attend off hours functions, you would like to see their full participation in activities/initiatives that do fall within their normal work time.

Watch work load. Some team building activities/meetings are seen as an interruption to an already heavy work load. Don't add more stress by ill-timed meetings. There are other ways to show appreciation and build team work during especially heavy seasons.

In the end, as the leader, you will have to determine if this employee's resistance is something you can work with or not. Being a team player is important, but having some grace with your employees is, too.